Are you experiencing a conflict where your relationship is falling apart due to a misunderstanding?
After digging our footer and laying our foundation, God builds our framework. Solomon continued: “And through understanding it is established” (Proverbs 24:3b). Understanding is insight that occurs through the Holy Spirit (Proverbs 9:10). Established means “to build up.” In order to build upon our foundation of wisdom, we must be equipped with the framework to see inside others.
Too often, we bring confusion to our relationships during interpersonal conflict when we take control, and are closed, heated, and blind. However, with understanding, we become (1) Spirit-led (see Proverbs 9:10; 3:5-6), (2) teachable (see Proverbs 15:32; 19:25; 17:10), (3) cool (see Proverbs 17:27), and (4) insightful (see Proverbs 20:5; 14:33; 28:11). Consequently, understanding sees inside a person’s heart where we would like to build a bridge, moving us through interpersonal conflict, laden with misunderstandings, to divine insight into others.
Be plugged into the Holy Spirit. Live by the Five Second Rule. Before every telephone call, text, email, encounter, or meeting, ask the Spirit of God to lead you. Prior to words or actions flowing from your body, ask Him, “What do you want me to do?”
Be teachable. Follow the Times 2 Rule by asking someone to coach you in an arena of your life where you can grow in understanding. Find someone who is wiser than you in that selected discipline. Meet at least once each month to pursue specific areas of improvement.
Be cool. Practice the real Ten Second Rule. Take your anger to God. As you begin to heat up, ask Him to cool you down keeping you silent (see Proverbs 11:12), patient (see Proverbs 24:29), and on a straight path (see Proverbs 15:21).
Be insightful. Apply the Twenty Second Rule and look inside others. Take twenty seconds after each conversation to look past every person’s words in order to peer inside their heart. Don’t merely focus on their vocabulary, but reflect on what they were attempting to describe.